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Send John Kelso to North Austin

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By Dory Creedle
Editor
Westlake
Featherduster
John Cutsinger, adviser

Boy, am I envious.

When I was a junior, the journalism staff took one or two trips. Once we went to the University of Texas for a convention. In a rented van. Wow. There were about 10 or 11 kids, all screaming the lyrics to “Another Brick in the Wall’.’ the entire way there. Let me tell you, we had fun.

Featherduster, Sept. 23, 1983, p6

But it was nothing like this.

A couple of friends and I have come up with this idea to send John Kelso on vacation. Since the poor soul has reportedly never been outside of south Austin, that .poverty-stricken, shack-ridden area, we have decided to raise funds in Westlake called “Send John to North Austin.”

Think of it — the culture, the beauty, the overwhelming excitement. He will surely benefit and this can’t be just your normal “pack-up-the-old-VW-and go” kinda trip. This has got to be special so he can write home about it.

Maybe we could locate the funds to go first class and buy him a ’65 Chevy or round trip transit bus fare. No doubt, this has got to be the get-away of a lifetime. His tour must start in Balcones Woods, then a cruise on to Milburn and then even maybe (shriek) ROUND ROCK!

Not to abandon the subject or anything, but recently, Kelso wrote a column pertaining to the band and how it is going to China next summer. He referred to some “chaps” who frequent Tom Thumb in yachting shirts.

Word is that they’re loaded with dough and are  waiting to give some of it away. We waited, but they never showed up, so we initiated a raffle for the set of jumper cables at 50¢ a ticket and have cleared $7.65 already. (The odd change came from a love gift from a south Austin high school in Kelso’s location. We hear they sacrificed the year’s lunch money.)

Anyway, I just happened to be at the American Statesman the other day, so I started walking around until I ended up near Kelso’s desk. Let me tell you, this guy is truly deprived.

He looked like he ‘didn’t even have enough money to change the oil in his car, and he might have to wait until payday. I mean, this man needs the kind of cultural enrichment that North Austin has to offer; he could come back with a whole new outlook on life.

Just think of it — he would have the honor of being the first American Statesman journalist to be invited to tour North Austin. What a thrill it would be for him to come back and tell all of his friends about this strange, new part of the world.

Anyway, whether the fund raiser meets our goal of $10 and John makes it all the way to Round Rock, it’s the thought that counts. Right, ¥r, Kelso?